im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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