Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
