This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
