i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
