C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
