Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
