She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
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