I think I died a long time ago.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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