I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
