I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There's always time for handjobs
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
