you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
