He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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