Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
