to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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