how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
