So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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