I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
