Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
