I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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