I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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