Just took my morning after pill in the library
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
