Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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