the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
