Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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