I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
time to smoke my breakfast
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
