He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
