Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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