I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
So. Much. Porn.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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