Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
