I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
