But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
