R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
