quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
