...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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