I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
