Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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