She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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