i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
