I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
