rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
