I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
