I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
