Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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