You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
