And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Screwed.edu
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
sarcasm needs its own font
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
