YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
