Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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