i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
