Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
