Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
