You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
