dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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