oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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